Not yet after all

This time, it seems, Charlie changed his mind. Instead of moving Dad, they're going to try -- one more time -- a new night-time care taker. The advantages of this are obvious. The cost of doing this is only a fraction of the cost of a move to a group home, keeps Dad in a familiar place, and keeps my parents together.

There are potential pitfalls with this, however. My mother readily acknowledges that she can no longer cope if my father needs to get up in the night. But, she does not like the idea of a stranger in the house while she sleeps, and considers it a waste of money to have some one there all the time. So in the recent past she has manufactured crises to drive off the night-time care giver.

Mom claimed that the most recent night-time care giver was sneaking people into the house while she slept. She would try to "catch" them, but never could, Mom said because "she would hear me coming and sneak them out of the door fast." Mom kept jumping out at the care-giver in the middle of the night and yelling at her, drove the poor young woman nuts, and understandably she quit.

In the same conversation, my mother will whimper about not being able to cope at night with Dad, and then a few sentences later complain that she can't see any reason why they have to have someone in the house with them at night.

So we shall have to see how long this new arrangement works.