The Writing Life

 

In April of this year I made a big leap from occasionally writing a sociological blog here on blogger that got viewed by one or two friends, to writing a sociological blog/newsletter on Substack. I did this to push myself to write more and to have a chance to reach a wider audience with the things I wrote. 

The result, so far, is that I am finding the motivation and interest in writing a couple of times a week, and am aiming for more as time goes by. As for readership, I currently have 20 subscribers and each post (which are all free) is read by not only subscribers but also additional casual readers. 

I feel like I am thinking clearly again, and having some small impact on the world again. 

I have discontinued my Sociological Stew blog, but plan to keep this one, Sunflower Roots, for more personal writing, memoirs, poetry, artwork and such like. 

If you are reading this and want to check out my Substack here is the link. There is no paywall, and the subscriptions are free (and always will be). 

https://reflectionsofasociologist.substack.com/

writing life

it's been a lovely day...I've spent the whole day reading and writing in a new journal. Now I feel like writing where someone other than myself can read, but where to start? How much to say?

I like journals. Influenced by the Diary of Anne Frank, I began keeping a journal in the form of letters to an imaginary friend named Margie when I was 12 or 13 and kept writing Marie on sheets of binder paper until I was 21.

The summer I was twenty-one, and working for a wealthy family in Greenwich, Connecticut as an au pair, I bought a green, bound journal at a New York City stationer that seemed more fitting to the more "serious" thoughts I wished to inscribe. My second entry in that first bound journal was made while sitting in the garden at the Museum of Modern Art, where I marveled at Rodin's Balzac and Picasso's Goat and even more wonderful, the cut-leaf birch trees.

I filled twenty-five bound journals over the next thirty five years. Then I discovered blogging and journal got lost while I explored this new medium and delighted in having an audience for my thoughts. Recently, however, I've begun to miss the physical feel of writing, of putting ink on a clean, smooth page. The last bound journal I purchased was awkward to use, being thick, with small pages. So yesterday, I once again 7 1/2 inch wide by 10 1/4 inch high, and 3/4 inch thick bound journal, with creamy smooth pages and light gray lines. I've already filled fifteen pages with dense black script, pouring out thoughts and ideas, not quite yet ready to make it to the computer screen to be shared with others.

The photo of Picasso's Goat in the MoMA sculpture garden was taken in December 1969 (photographers name not given) and can be found on the Bearne Gallery Website.

new year reflections

Not going to "resolve" anything this year, but rather reflect and respond.

I'm so pleased that Fiona Robyn created the "river of stones" challenge for January. It is just exactly the creative shove that I needed. 2009 was a very creative year of poetry and painting. Last year just seemed like a year that I was always scrambling just to get by. The last three months were simply devoured by the process of purchasing and moving into a new house.

With the new year, we feel "moved in," and a bit less stressed. Not that the moving process is fully completed -- lots of odds and ends still in the old house that need eventually to be sorted through, thrown away, sold, given away or stored. But life is slowly getting back to normal, and an important part of that normal is writing.

I've let my blog languish. Been a poor blog friend - failing to visit any of my friends blogs for months.

This year more time will be allocated to reflection, reading, writing, and responding.

missing

Apologies to all my blogging friends, I know I haven't been by your blog to read your posts in a long, long time. I promise I'll come back again some day, when I figure out how to get life back into balance. I started to stay "back under control" but control is not something that can be applied to our lives, or our feelings, or other living beings--and who would really want a life that was "controlled"? Not me.

But a little more balance might be nice. I've said "yes" to too many things -- all interesting, valuable, important things. "Yes" to new work challenges (committees, projects, conferences), and "yes" to new home challenges (Tabitha kitty and all that entails). Fate also hands us little obstacles to enliven our lives (like my husband's car window getting smashed and his wallet getting stolen).

I've fallen dreadfully far behind on teaching related activities (lectures, study guides, discussion questions, and exams not yet written and posted for my on-line students). I'm so far behind that I've decided that worrying and getting panicked about missed deadlines would take too time and too much energy, so I'll just skip the panic and peacefully bumble onward. The semester will eventually end, whether I'm ready for it or not. We'll do what we will do. The world will keep turning, and daffodils will bloom.

But I do hope someday soon to get back to visiting all your blogs and having the time to relish your posts and comment again. Until then, know I think about you all.

senior moments

My poor mom had a bad day. She has become frozen by fear of falling. Certainly at age 85 with a few experiences with tumbles, she has reason to be cautious, but her fear has become pathological. She tried to go shopping at her local Sears store and was overwhelmed by the escalator. Even though she received help from several kind strangers, the experience shook her so much that she left without purchasing what she went to get.

So I was delighted to be able to tell her a story about my day, that made her laugh and realize that "senior moments" can be had at just about any age (I'm 57).

I had an eye appointment this morning, routine follow up from cataract surgery. It was very early, and being rushed I didn't have breakfast. Afterwards, my eyes were too dilated to drive the 15 miles home, so I scooted over to my favorite restaurant, the Pine Mountain Grill, a few blocks away for a hearty breakfast. [I love eating breakfast out - any excuse will do!]

I settled in at my table with coffee, took my hoodie off, and laid it over the back of the chair, and got my planning journal out -- to plan what I wanted to blog about this week. The food arrived and was yummy. When I finished, I stood up, picked up my purse, and then one of my students (an employee at the restaurant) stopped by to say "hi." We chatted for a moment and then I went to the cashier, paid my bill. I noticed a great pair of sunglasses with reading glasses inserts on the gift rack next to the check out and purchased those too. Then I walked out to my car, and went on my way.

Five hours later, 40 miles away shopping at Wal-mart, it suddenly dawned on me -- I left my hoodie on the chair, my journal on the table, and the case for my reading glasses on the counter by the cashier! When I finally reached home at 6 PM, I called the restaurant, and checked -- sure enough all my stuff was sitting in their lost and found at the cashiers post. I'll have to go back and get it tomorrow.

I made quite a production of telling my mom, and she got a good laugh, and it made her feel a little better. So now I know why my day was the way it was!

the first day of summer vacation

It has been years -- probably 11 years -- since I've had a true "summer vacation." But this year I have an entire month, from May 6 to June 6, that is all mine, with no real obligations to my employer, or any other institution.

It was a perfect day. I did just what I wanted to do all day long. Of course some of the things I wanted to do were necessary -- like feeding the animals, doing a load of laundry, doing a few dishes. However, for the most part, me and Rosie dog, spent the day outside.

I did some sketching, for the first time trying out the small box of pastels I bought 8 months ago (before the Virtual Learning Initiative interrupted my life). I like the quality of these pastels -- more oil than chalk -- but I'm going to need a wider array of colors!

I started reading Lester R. Brown's Plan B 3.0 which details what Brown and the World Watch Institute feel is necessary to prevent the collapse of civilization from the threats of overpopulation, poverty and environmental degradation. I've read the previous edition of Brown's book (Plan B 2.0) and many other books, articles, research reports, blogs, etc. that outline the problems, so I'm focusing on the chapters that discuss solutions this time around. I'll probably have lots to say about this and other readings this summer on Sociological Stew and Blue Island Almanack. But for my personal blog, I just want to note how wonderful and pleasant it was to sit and read exactly what I wanted to read for as long as I wanted. To have the time to pause, think about things, stare off into the woods, and jot down my brilliant (ha!) reflections on the reading.

In addition to reading and note taking, I did some journal writing. I've had so little time to write for the last six months, that when I have, it's gone into my blogs and not my journal. Time to make up for all that.

In the middle of the day, to get the blood stirring, I hauled the reel mower out of the shed and gave 30 minutes over to some vigorous aerobic exercise. A reel mower is the kind that runs entirely on human muscle power. It's good for the small area around the patio, quiet, and definitely gets the heart rate up, and produces some sweat.

As the sun began to go down, I borrowed John's digital camera and tried to capture the wonderful quality of light in our western facing front yard. Evening light in the front yard (right). I love the way the evening sun slants across the grass and back lights the leaves on the maples.

reading and blogging

Every night before falling asleep I read. In fact, I no longer seem to be able to fall asleep unless I do read. My bed time reading is frivolous. I only read fiction, and my preferences are for mysteries and science fiction.

When I was in college and graduate school, I had so much reading that I had to do, that I never read for pleasure because it generated too much guilt -- if I had time to read, then I ought to be reading one of the many required books or articles. In 1988, I was denied tenure on my first teaching post, and my friend Sharon sent me a mystery by "Amanda Cross" (aka Carolyn Heilbrun). It was called Death in a Tenured Position. It was exactly the right antidote for my feelings at that time. Sharon sent me other things, an early Sara Paretsky mystery for one. I began reading every night for 30 minutes to an hour before going to sleep, and the habit stuck. Now I keep basket of books under the nightstand.

Recently I discovered some new writers. I've been a member of the Mystery Book Club for years, but recently I've gotten lax about remembering to cancel the automatic shipments. So about six months ago I ended up with two boxes of books I had not really wanted. On the rare occasions that happened previously I would send them back unopened. But this time, I said, "what the heck" and decided to see what was there. As a result I had the chance to read a book by J.A. Jance. It was one of her mysteries featuring career homicide officer J.P. Beaumont; and I loved it. Got on Amazon.com and went back to the beginning of the series and ordered several more that were just as good. Then a few months later, I was in the grocery store and noticed a book by Jance that was NOT part of that series, called Web of Evil, and was introduced to former broadcaster and blogger "Ali". Another great character and story, so again I went back and got the first book in the series, and the most recent book.

Reading Jance's series about Ali have made me want to spend even more time blogging. The fictional Ali's blog "cutloose" is inspiring. Does anyone (ordinary person) have that kind of blog experience, where they develop a large readership and engage in real "conversation" in their forums/comments?

I've become part of a group blog Blue Island Almanack that has generated wonderful discussion, at least among the members of the group (and hopefully over time with a wider group of readers). But, Blue Island Almanack deals with important issues (environment, education, economy, etc.) and because of that it doesn't entirely fulfill all my needs for expression and interaction on-line. I'm still trying to figure out what kind of a blogger I want to be.